


Gentlemen Don't Kiss and Tell

by disney_rox_my_sox



Series: You Two Would Be Perfect For Each Other [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Conversations, M/M, the twins talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disney_rox_my_sox/pseuds/disney_rox_my_sox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning after Carolina and South set up North and York, South barges in on her brother to discuss the potential new relationship. She wants the detes. North is being evasive. Naturally York has no problems telling Carolina about every little thing that happened.</p>
<p>Sequel to "Blind Dates" fic. I'm thinking of making a whole modern au Nork series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gentlemen Don't Kiss and Tell

North padded sluggishly across the cool tile floor of his kitchen in the jeans and sweatshirt he’d pulled on over his boxers. The person responsible for ringing his doorbell at the ungodly hour of nine o’clock on a Saturday morning was currently lounging rather indolently with both feet propped up, sitting in one of his chairs, at his kitchen table. He had his hands full, each with a steaming cup of coffee - only one of which was for him, unfortunately - as he approached. He stopped before placing the mugs down and glared into the pair of icey blue eyes that matched his to a T.

“Get your feet off my kitchen table, or so help me I will pour this coffee over your head.” He growled.

“Pfft.” South scoffed derisively at the notion, but she removed her feet to the floor anyway. Her voice was filled with complete confidence when she continued. “As if you’d waste your precious coffee by dumping it on me.”

Placing her doctored cup in front of her, he lowered himself slowly into his chair. Once seated, he took a deep appreciative whiff of the hazelnut scented brew before indulging in a long reverent sip. Now that he had his coffee, he could appreciate the humour in the situation. “You’re probably right. Most likely I would just keep both coffees for myself and not give you any.”

In response, South spat in her drink and stirred it with a spoon. Then she gestured with her hands held out in front of her as if to say ‘it’s all yours.’ Her smirk was wide a filled with knowledge.

North grimaced, his aristocratic features scrunching up in disgust. “God, South. What the fuck? That is gross. And childish. And rude. And immature. I can’t believe you would do that still.” Though, looking at where his sister sat sipping her coffee placidly, he could believe she would revert back to teenage stunts like marking her food with spit. He just shook his head in resignation. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this morning’s visit?”

South’s voice was light and teasing. “Aww, can’t I just want to chat with my big brother?” The response that she got was unimpressed silence and an eyebrow lifted in a dispassionate arch. So she changed tactics. South knew every way to wheedle information from her stoic twin. She had made a career out of it during their lifetime. She tried for insulted anger next. “So, you never showed last night? I came to the restaurant with my friend, who you agreed to meet, only you weren’t there. Talk about rude. What gives, Bro?”

Of course, South wasn’t the only one who had made an intense study of all her twin’s habits and behaviours over the years. North knew the reprimand was fake. The anger wasn’t even a fraction of what her normal temper could explode with, and North was positive ditching on a blind date would never even rate as irksome on her scale. So the question was, why was she pretending to be insulted that he had bailed? She was obviously searching for information on what he had done instead, which means she knew something else had happened because - let’s face it, South wouldn’t give a shit if he decided to stay home and read. 

Then it all clicked. South, who had never bothered to try and set him up for a date, suddenly wanted him to meet a ‘friend’. South, who knew him as well as he knew himself, probably knew exactly who he had spent the last months hanging out with and was steadily becoming interested in. South, who was good friends with Carolina - who was supposed to meet York last night at the bar but had never showed - had schemed many a troublesome plans with the redhead. South and Caro had seen and decided to act upon the attraction he and York had been dancing around. They had set up the whole night to get the two of them together. Well, shit.

South watched as realization dawned in her twin’s light blue eyes. There was no anger there. There was puzzlement as he tried to decode her motives. Understanding came next as he probably reasoned out a few facts about her connections to Caro and the potential for the date she had set him on last night. Lastly, there was disbelief, most likely at the fact that his younger twin had figured his crush out and had successfully maneuvered him into acting on it.

“Thank you.” North said simply.

South was taken slightly aback. She knew North wasn’t mad, but she hadn’t expected him to take her meddling so easily. It threw her off, made her stutter and blush. The fuck? “Whatever, dude. I told you I was setting you up with a friend. No need to get all squishy on me. I knew you’ve been pining for that fucktard so I had a talk with Caro. Apparently York has been just as much of a sissy as you. We both thought setting you up would finally get your teenage melodrama out of our hair, since you two pansy weren’t doing anything about it.”

North ignored the harsh talk. He knew South became gruffer when she was embarrassed. And nothing embarrassed her more than being caught in a good deed. Instead he changed the subject for her. “So, were you there watching?”

“What makes you ask that?”

His tone was patronizing. “Uh, because I know you, South. You wouldn’t have been able to stop yourself from watching events unfold. That’s why you were always caught for doing stupid shit when we were younger. You always insisted on sticking around to see the results of your pranks, which put you at the scene of the crime.”

She really couldn’t argue with his assessment. Well, she could. She could argue about any damn thing, for any damn reason. But, she wanted the grist on what happened after the two of them had left, so she didn’t want to be too antagonistic. “Well... Tell me what happened. Did you take him home and pound his ass into the mattress before sending him packing?”

Exasperated, North rubbed at the bridge of his nose with one hand. “Jesus. No, South. Just. No.”

Unperturbed she continued. “Oh, sorry. Did he take you home and pound your ass into the mattress before sending you home?”

“What the hell, South?! No. No one pounded anyone into the mattress. There was no pounding. And if there was, I wouldn’t tell you about it. We are not teenagers anymore. I am not talking to you about the details of my sex life!”

“Oh, please. Who bought you your first dildo? Just tell me something.” She pleaded.

“Fucking, Christ.” He mumbled under his breath. He got up and stalked to the sink, grabbing South’s cup with his along the way. He rinsed both empty mugs in warm water before placing them in the dishwasher. He was moving mostly on autopilot, still too uncomfortable with his sister’s brash curiosity to answer. Instead, he left her in his kitchen to go upstairs and shower.

When he was finished, he stepped out from behind the curtain to see South leaning against the door jam expectantly. He knew she would have followed him upstairs. He knew she would continue pestering him until he answered. He hadn’t expected her to be standing outside his shower to wait for him. “A little privacy, please?” The question left the distinct impression he was not only talking about her presence in his bathroom.

She shrugged nonchalantly, flinging a towel at his chest. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

North wrapped the towel around his waist, tucking it in to secure it. Then he walked to the door and gave a none-too-gentle shove at his sister’s shoulders, pushing her off balance. Using her momentary loss of equilibrium to his advantage, he closed the door in her face, locking it for good measure. If she really wanted back in, she could easily pick the lock with one of her bobby pins, but it would take a couple minutes, and that would give him enough time to dry off and get decently covered.

Surprisingly though, she left him alone. He could hear through the closed door that she had walked back into the bedroom and had flopped down on his bed. He came out with the towel still on his waist and walked straight to the dresser for a fresh pair of boxers. He slid them on and then let the towel drop. After that, he tugged on a clean pair of jeans and a clean shirt from two other drawers. He scrubbed his hair dry with the towel before tossing it in the hamper by his closet door.

South had stayed silent throughout, watching him with slight puzzlement. “Is it ‘cause he’s special?”

North sighed. He went to the bed to sit hip to hip with her on the edge of the bed.

“You’ve never really had a problem talking with me about anything before. You would tell me to butt out, but you’ve never been this agitated about my wheedling… Is it because this time - this person - is different, special?” There was a quiet and intuitive edge to her voice that few people outside of her twin knew she could adopt.

“Yes. York is different. He is special. I really like him.” North started slowly. This was a new situation for the twins; there had never been someone either of them considered ‘special’ before. Though they had both had previous relationships, this time would require some thought and consideration from both of them. Not wanting to exclude his sister any more, he decided to tell her an abridged version, hoping to get them back on the same level they used to be. “We went back to his place. We put in a movie, though I can’t really say I know what it was about since we spent the majority of the time making out.”

South brightened at this tidbit. She lost her pensive mood and leered suggestively at her brother. Hoping to get a laugh, her eyebrows wiggled outrageously at the insinuation. “Caro says York’s a good kisser. Course, this was back in uni, so I can only imagine how much better he’s gotten over the years…”

North groaned. He playfully shoved South back onto the mattress and got up to leave the room. The entire time, his sister followed on his heels making comments, becoming lewder and lewder as she carried on.

When it was time for South to leave - meaning North had gotten sick of the remarks and was kicking her out - she paused at the door, returning to her serious mood from earlier. “I suppose you probably want me to stop calling him fucktard, huh?”

North knew this was as much of a blessing as he was going to get from his emotionally constipated twin. “At least to his and my faces, yeah.”

South shrugged, then she pecked his cheek lightly before plastering on a cheeky smirk. “Sure you don’t want to tell me just one little thing about York’s technique?”

North slammed the door in her face. He could hear her practically cackling from the other side as she yelled. “That’s alright! I’m sure York told Caro all about it! I’ll get the details from her!”

…

Across town, the redhead put her hands over her ears. York had invaded her apartment at seven-thirty that morning. He hadn’t bothered knocking, or ringing the doorbell. He had just jimmied the lock open on her front door and let himself in. The only thing that had saved him from receiving a severe ass whooping was that he had come with a large cup of coffee and two cherry cheese danishes - damn right both were for her, and York would keep his complaining to a minimum if he didn’t want to lose his balls - from her favourite cafe.

Of course, since Carolina didn’t kill the brunette for waking her up on a Saturday, he took this as permission to tell Caro all about his night with North. In exact detail. She swore, if she heard one more time about that thing North could do with his tongue…

Still, she knew she should probably listen, if only because she knew South would want to know, and Carolina doubted the spunky blonde would get any such information out of her reserved brother. It was really amazing that someone so steady could be perfect for the self-proclaimed professional flirt sitting at her kitchen island. Still, she and South had agreed that these two men were meant for each other, and the two women were bound and determined to see them together.


End file.
